THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

I haven't updated here for a while. This is because I was abducted by the Dallas Cowboys and tied to a chair as the most unspeakable attrocities in humanity were played out before me. But I was of course the hero, sweeping my banjo off its feet and fingering its strings, and hitting all the Dallas Cowboys over the head with William Shatner.

Actually the real reason is Cybersex.

DANI HAS NEVER HAD AN ORGASM

This revelation came 2 days ago, I am a swift thinker so this is no longer a true and correct statement.

In modern last week Aaliyah called the Newcastle Jets players 'dick heads all of them' to which Mr Sajko contemplated momentarily and quipped back 'bitch'.

We had a sub in modern so we wrote our names on a piece of paper as the roll. I wrote down Tony Levin. But then the following day we had the sub again and she proceeded to bellow 'TONY', 'IS TONY LEVIN HERE' to which the class were somewhat bemused. My name was next and the teacher said 'This looks a lot like your handwriting James'. 'It does, doesn't it' I replied. Then we played celebrity heads and drew the grand master of all 'Saj maps' on the whiteboard. The moral here is that NONE OF THE STUPID FAGS KNEW WHO TONY LEVIN WAS. GROW SOME CULTIRE PEOPLE!!.

For every minute you sit there, Jack Bauer kills another muslim. How long can you sit there?

Australia have lost 4 games in a row. This is Nathan Casey's fault. They have won just 1 from 6 games since he shaved his head but missed the middle. By the time you finish this blog Nathan will have broken up with Steph acrimonoiusly, hooked up with a younger chick, and then rejoined a jealous Steph.

"Ow, my balls" - Holly Lawson

"Fuck i'm busting for a leak. It feels like I haven't been in a day. - Jack Bauer